Story of the Day for Thursday March 15, 2012
How All Stories End
Do not call conspiracy everything these people call conspiracy; do not fear what they fear.
I’m reading a book about the Revolutionary War, and it is not looking good for the Americans. Congress has declared independence from Great Britain, but now, a little over a month later, the British have arrived in force: 73 warships, and 400 transport ships. The British are bearing down with the most powerful, well-trained army in the world. The ragtag Americans are no match for the 32,000 British troops who have just hammered the Colonial troops at the Battle of Brooklyn.
General George Washington is trying to sneak his army off the island at night, but messages get confused. The wrong regiments are moving at the wrong time and everything is in confusion. At dawn, with much of the army still trying to cross over to New York, they are sitting ducks for British warships and advancing troops.
Do you want to know what I think? I haven’t read to the end of the book, but I don’t think we’re going to win this war. The Americans don’t have a chance. The British are going to notice the retreat at first light and destroy our army. We’re going to be crushed by British military might and end up a British colony forever! Then they’re going to slap a tax on all imports of Earl Grey tea and we’re going to have to sing “God Save the King” at the beginning of all our football games.
People often comment on my keen foresight about things. I don’t know, I just seem to be able to look at these kinds of situations and know what’s going to happen.
After reading on, I learn that at the last moment – just before dawn – a thick fog settled in over the American troops. New York is clear, but the fog surrounding our retreat is so thick the British complained they couldn’t see six feet. Washington ended up evacuating his entire army of 9000 men without the loss of a single life.
Okay, but that was just luck we weren’t destroyed .
I have continued reading and my prediction is being vindicated – we are getting clobbered by the British. Sure, Washington escaped to the mainland, but now the British warships have trounced us at Kips Bay. We retreat. They pursue. They have taken Fort Washington and 2000 patriots have been captured. They attacked Fort Lee and we gave it up without a fight. A third of the army is sick, and there are only 3500 American soldiers left. I just know we’re going to lose this war for independence.